Hooker Hair, Black Fishnet Tank-Top, Black Tutu, More Fishnet and CFM Shoes

I don’t know, and I really don’t care, so please stop asking me stupid questions.

Last week I worked in a different office, filling in for someone who was out taking care of her very pregnant daughter.  This person and I aren’t exactly BFFs, in fact I am pretty sure she despises me.  I’m ambivalent.  I was probably asked about 500 times if the daughter had had her baby.  Being the nice person I am, I politely said I had no idea.  What I wanted to say was more along the lines of, “I don’t know, and what’s more, I really don’t give a damn.” It is entirely possible I did say this once or twice but it all sort of blurs together into one big obnoxious week.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m moving, well this also means that I’m quitting my job.  Positions such as mine do not open all that often, people usually die before they retire or quit.  You can imagine the euphoria some people felt when my position was posted two weeks ago.  It was quite a site to behold, people who hadn’t given me the time of day before were suddenly my new besties.  All this attention was definitely unwanted on my part, considering I’ve been there almost seven years and it seems a little late to be making nice.  Of course, if someone were to try to bribe me with cake I definitely wouldn’t turn that down.

I love how blogger sends me an email, notifying me of new comments.  I’m an instant gratification sort of gal, so this works out pretty well.  I would like for blogger to stop sending me notifications when I comment on my own posts.  I’m pretty sure I’m away that I have written something and then hit the submit button.  I’m slow, but not quite that slow.

My two year old is a big Dora fan, much to my chagrin.  The other day he was watching an episode of Dora while The Hubs and I were cleaning.  Dora is a big fan of positive reinforcement, but what I heard next was a little much, even for me.  “Great super blowing” Dora exclaimed to her young listening audience.  The Hubs and I started laughing and realized that Dora had a pivotal decision to make, did she spit or swallow?

On that uncomfortable note, go visit The Un Mom for even more random.

Change can be a good thing, but it scares the crap out of me

 

I do not like change.  I like routines, I like order, I like knowing that the way I did things on Monday is probably the way I will do them again on Tuesday.  I am a pretty big fan of predictability, surprise frightens me and the unknown makes me pee my pants. 

That being said, it’s pretty much the exact opposite of what my life will look like in a few short months.  These days, I know where I’m going to buy my groceries, which gas station I will stop at on the way to and from said grocery store, what time I need to leave my house to get to work on time.  Soon that will all be a thing of the past, and I’m not really a fan of that.

Once we move to Texas, EVERYTHING will be different.  We’ll have to find a new bank because ours is a local credit union.  We will have to go to a different grocery and I’m pretty sure they don’t have Safeway or QFC.  What will I do without the delicious bakeries of both those stores?  And driving to work?  Who freaking knows if I’m even going to be working, let alone where or when or how or what!  There are just so many unanswered questions and I really don’t like that.

Not only do I loath change, but I like planning.  I can’t plan for the things that I don’t know yet and the list of unknowns keeps growing everyday.  Hell, I don’t even know the exact date we are moving, and that’s a pretty big one.  So, once you add up all the unknowns and pile them with the changes that are freaking me out, I am a long way from my happy place.  There are days I want to bury my head in the sand and not think about all that, but instead I get out my big yellow notepad and make a list and a plan.

Do you need a job? Take mine!

Today is the last day to apply for my job, the description and applications materials are all online. Though, you'll need to be patient, because technically it is still MY job, at least through the end of June. Our HR department is really on the ball with this one, either that or they want to leave plenty of time for procrastination. Personally, I think it's the latter.


When I first saw that my position had been posted, I was incredibly saddened. This was my first real job that didn't include a cash register. Though I've never viewed it as a career and I vowed I wouldn't stay longer than three years. My last day will be just a few weeks shy of my 7 year anniversary. That's a lot of time invested in not only the work I do on a daily basis, but also the people I work with. Truth be told, I will miss my coworkers and my two incredible bosses more than the actually work. I also felt as though I was being rushed out the door, sort of "here's your hat, what's your hurry." I don't think it had been a full week after I handed in my separation notice that they posted. Do you think they are trying to tell me something? Nahh, probably not...


Now, I have set VERY high standards while working in this position, and I have some very big shoes to fill. And you might think that I'll just be phoning it in for the next few months, but I promise you that isn't true. Granted, it is government work, so the standards have slipped through the years, and I only wear a size 7, but we don't need to focus on the details. The important thing is planning my going away party!


I expect there to be lots and lots of cake. It will probably be during work hours, so alcohol is optional, though not discouraged. And it should NOT be a surprise. My office LOVES throwing a surprise party. Not sure who comes up with the great ideas to keep this up, but I think we should put a stop to it upon my departure.


So, you have until 5:00 pm PST to get those application materials in! Sure you'll have to fax it, but lets face it, this is a choice opportunity! Who knows, maybe I'll even be in on your interview, now won't that be fun!

What's that? A new post? Is that even possible?

I'm not sure you noticed, but I haven't written in oh...a while. I know a few of you have noticed, what with the constant nagging and all. I sort of fell of the writing wagon and just haven't had the nerve to hop back on. I feel like I lost my spunk, as though I set it down somewhere, like I do with my keys or my sunglasses, and simply forgot where.

I've got all these thoughts jumbled up inside, waiting to get out. If I could just drag myself away from American Idol and Dancing With The Stars for long enough to string together two coherent sentences I think I'd be good. But I just can't get over the awkwardness that is Kate Gosselin dancing and Ryan Seacrest's hair. Both are equally mesmerizing.

I'm all jumbled up inside, so I'm turning back to the inter-webs to help me figure it all out. If strangers don't have the answer to life, I don't know who else will!

Alright peeps, I promise to write more soon. Laters!

You're Only As Old As You Think You Are...

I like to think I'm a pretty smart person...or at least not dumb. Well, the other day I was forced to the conclusion that this may not be entirely true. See, the thing is for the past few months (well, since my birthday) I have been thinking I'm 28. Even though the math is pretty damn easy to do, I've been messing it up since October. Do other people do this? Or have I just started slipping down a slippery slope toward senility?

I am one year closer to 30 than I thought I was. This isn't a major issue really, I'm not a person who focuses on age milestones as being a big deal. But, 30 seems like an age where I have to start being a grown up, become more responsible and less of a goof off. It's a time when I should start to choose the path toward growth and enlightenment over the one that leads to immaturity and foolishness. I'm a lot better at being a fool than being enlightened. It also means I need to eat more veggies.

Having one less year before this deadline worries me. There are a lot of stupid things a twenty-something is supposed to do that I just haven't done yet.

I guess I had better get started on making up for lost time...The only question is where do I start?