Sunday, April 4, 2010

Change can be a good thing, but it scares the crap out of me

vintage-war-propaganda-posters07 

I do not like change.  I like routines, I like order, I like knowing that the way I did things on Monday is probably the way I will do them again on Tuesday.  I am a pretty big fan of predictability, surprise frightens me and the unknown makes me pee my pants. 

That being said, it’s pretty much the exact opposite of what my life will look like in a few short months.  These days, I know where I’m going to buy my groceries, which gas station I will stop at on the way to and from said grocery store, what time I need to leave my house to get to work on time.  Soon that will all be a thing of the past, and I’m not really a fan of that.

Once we move to Texas, EVERYTHING will be different.  We’ll have to find a new bank because ours is a local credit union.  We will have to go to a different grocery and I’m pretty sure they don’t have Safeway or QFC.  What will I do without the delicious bakeries of both those stores?  And driving to work?  Who freaking knows if I’m even going to be working, let alone where or when or how or what!  There are just so many unanswered questions and I really don’t like that.

Not only do I loath change, but I like planning.  I can’t plan for the things that I don’t know yet and the list of unknowns keeps growing everyday.  Hell, I don’t even know the exact date we are moving, and that’s a pretty big one.  So, once you add up all the unknowns and pile them with the changes that are freaking me out, I am a long way from my happy place.  There are days I want to bury my head in the sand and not think about all that, but instead I get out my big yellow notepad and make a list and a plan.

6 Awesome Comments:

Justin said...

But it's an adventure!!!! Does that way of thinking help at all? Love you!

Steph said...

I don't really like adventure either.

Don Guitar said...

Ah but Texas isn't so much a place as a way of life. You'll love it here. Just remember to smile and wave at total strangers as they drive by (because they'll be smiling and waving at you too) and look folks (men, women and youngsters) in the eye as you give them a firm handshake. If nobody thinks to introduce you, don't wait, introduce yourself. You'll be fine.

Steph said...

Don, that all sounds so easy peasy. It's not really other people who I worry about, it's mostly just me. If I can overcome that, maybe I'll survive.

givingherallshesgot said...

Ugh, soooo there with you, I hate unknowns but love planning, so I *really* hate when the future is too unknown for planning! Right now I'm trying to plan for my post-job future...but I still don't have a good feel for what that will be so it's a constant source of stress.

Here's to hoping things get w/in the planning realm soon!

Followed from RTT, going to see if I can follow you now :-)

Steph said...

The post-job part is also what scares me the most! Ack! just thinking about not working and having no income or applying for a new job pretty much makes me break otu in hives!

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