Random Tuesday Thoughts: Tuesdays are my Mondays

I work Tuesday through Saturday, so every week I go into work on Tuesday, and everyone has already gotten through there Monday. Well for me, I experience that back to work blah feeling on Tuesday and not Monday. It really sucks to be the only one working who doesn't want to be there...oh wait. Nevermind. It just really sucks working and I'll leave it at that. Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

Speaking of working, guess how many actual working days I have left. Go on, I'll wait. If your guess was 33, you're wrong. However, if instead you thought it was 11 then you win a prize for being right! Hopefully the knowledge that you are incredibly insightful will be enough, it's all I've got.

My replacement has been hired, whoopie! He starts shadowing me in a few days, won't that be a lot of fun! I'm not really a people person, and I don't like other people in my space. But soon I will have my very own sidekick. I wonder if I should make us matching T-shirts?

My Father in law is flying into town later this morning, and I am fortunate enough to say that I'm really looking forward to it. He's a great guy, and we get along pretty well. Which works out great, since you know, I'm moving down there so that we can be neighbors an all. He's an amazing person, Justin shares a lot of the same great qualities. I am so happy that Tysen is going to grow up with such a wonderful grandpa. His grandma is pretty darn great too, but she isn't coming into town, so she isn't part of this random paragraph. Well, now she is I suppose.

It's late, I haven't had much sleep in the last few days, so forgive me for this being totally lame.

I think I must have been the last person to know about the IsParade app for Twitter. Oh my god! I can't stop watching it. Seriously, what is wrong with me that I am this easily entertained?

Thank you for your kind words on yesterdays post. I hadn't had a chance to read the comments until just a few minutes ago. I appreciate the support especially when I question myself.

And with that bit of sentimentality this edition of Random Tuesday Thoughts brought to you by the letter L for Lame, is done. Please head on over to Keely's place for even better random.

Who is that crazy lady in the mirror?

I'm not really proud of myself lately. It takes a lot to admit, but I've become that mom I always swore I wouldn't be. It seems these days that I just don't have any patience when it comes to Tysen and his misbehaving. A dear, kind friend told me that it was likely due to the stress of moving. She's probably right; but I still feel like a crappy parent.

Yesterday I found myself yelling, actually full of anger directed at my dear sweet boy. The behavior wasn't any different than one he might have had a month or so ago. But twice Sunday I was ashamed to realize that I had lost it and had stopped being the rational, controlled mom I used to be.

It's not just Tysen that seems to push me from calm to crazy in a matter of seconds, but I notice it most when it's directed at a two year old. He still loves me, still gives me hugs and kisses. But I feel like a horrible parent when I look into his beautiful blue eyes that hold only love and affection.

I have to find a balance between crazy stressed out psycho and the happy zen I long to be. It's obvious I won't be returning to the land of unicorns and cotton candy for a while. Hopefully I can survive this place for now, without doing too much damage to Tysen. I hate that I'm so freaked out all the time and I can't just let it go. I want to let it go, but obviously it's not happening.

I need to take some deep breaths and go meditate or something.

Mocha Friday

There are a lot of things I don't like about my job. A LOT. I could go on for hours and I am pretty sure most of my friends could recite the list backwards and forwards. All of these make for a very long work week. But at the end of the week, it's Friday. Not just any Friday, but Mocha Friday. This has been a long standing tradition I have joyfully shared with two of the greatest friends I'll ever have.





We've walked this path countless times, sharing our joys and our sorrows. It's the time I have to share my burdens with someone who gladly takes it on and for me to return the favor. I don't know how I would have made it through a lot of the challenges I've faced the last few years without this quiet walk with my friends. We've shared some pretty funny stories along this path, some stories that maybe we didn't share with anyone else.

We leave for our new home on a Friday. It will be one of many Fridays without my friends and our tradition. We've missed many Mocha Fridays throughout the years due to days off or unexpected work changes. But there won't be a next week or a week after that and Fridays will never be the same.



I love you guys.

I'd like to take a moment to apologize...

But that's really not in my nature, so I'll just offer up excuses instead. Not sure if you noticed my absence during the last two weeks or so. Maybe you did and wondered where I was, or didn't care, or didn't notice at all. Hell, there's a lot on the internets these days, so it's not like without me you were left with no options.

Excuse #1: I've been sick the last two weeks, first with a stomach virus and now with a horrible head cold. It's hard to breath when your sick, nevermind type and think. Right now I've got an enormous headache that makes opening my eyeballs very difficult.

Excuse #2: I've been stressing over moving, leaving work and everything that comes with those two events.

Excuse #3: I'm working on a big move for my blog, and that's kind of consumed a lot of brain waves. The redesign isn't coming along as I had envisioned and it's got me a little down.

Excuse #4: I'm just plain busy, and it's only going to get worse. I barely have time to look at my reader to know how far behind I'm getting. I haven't read other blogs in forever, and I'm so far behind. Must catch up.

Yah, that's about it. A good friend, Julie Maloney, is a finalist in the ny Style X10 Blogger Contest, so go visit and give her some love!

Wordless Wednesday: 17 Days Left!!

 

Monkey Monday Minute

This week's Monday Minute has been renamed, and for a very important reason. Please click the button and head on over to Michelle's site read more.


1 - How old do you act? I don't know how old I ACT, but I certainly look like I'm about 15.  


2 - As far back as you can remember, what did you want to be when you grew up? I always wanted to be a lawyer, but now that I've actually been to college and gotten a look at how the real world works, I'd rather be a lady of leisure.


3 - If you were to write a book based on your life, what would the title be? This one stumped me, I can't imagine every wanting to write a book about my life, unless of course something super exciting happens during the rest of my life.


4 - What's something that you do that's considered "childish" by most? I really love cheesy Disney Channel and Fox Family movies.  Just can't get enough of those!


5 - The last question isn't a question.  Write a story of a time of when you or someone you know overcame great adversity.  I have this amazing, wonderful friend who lost both of his parents when he was a teenager and was diagnosed with brain cancer in his early twenties.  He could have taken those experiences and become a very negative and angry person.  But he survived the cancer (which has come back and he's kicking it's ass AGAIN!) and is the kindest, funniest person.  I am awed by his wonderful outlook on life.  I count myself very lucky to call this man a friend. 

Spam for me and Spam for YOU!

Today I am at a loss for words, really, I'm just down right speechless.  I think I'm going through an isolationism phase in my life; it won't last long I'm sure.  Anyhow...I was doing some spring cleaning of my email inbox, and discovered so many great gems in my spam folder that I couldn't keep them for myself, I have to share.

My favorite is the email that claims "no matter WHAT I'm selling they can send visitors to my sight." Is that not just total awesomeness?  I don't even have to do anything!  Just download their software and BAM, increased hits practically instantly.  I think I might try it out.

For all my medical needs, is the email that simply states:

VICODIN####VIAGRA#####PERCOCET!!!

How can I pass that up?  I do often have a craving for some viagra, but worry that my doctor will think I'm a little strange, so I haven't said anything about it.  Maybe I should click on the link...hmmm.  I'll consider it.

Last but not least, the answer to my prayers.  Michael claims that I can "Quit Your Day Job Within 30 Days"

See, I'm already going to be quiting my job in a little OVER 30 days, so if this can speed up the process AND give me a guaranteed income, why not?  

And that my friends is my spam folder.  It's not much, but just KNOWING that I can get rich quick AND have access to all my favorite drugs...well, what's NOT to like?

My life in song, or at least lyrics…I don’t sing. Well, I do, but not when other people are in the car.

Sometimes when I’m stressed and freaked out, it is hard to keep everything in perspective.  I mean, it MUST be a big deal, because it’s my life, and I’m pretty damn awesome AND important.  I’m not sure why the rest of the world doesn’t simply stop when I’m hovering on the verge of a mental breakdown.  But, it doesn’t.

I was feeling that way this morning when I heard Pearl Jam’s Just Breath, a song that always makes me feel like all is right in my world. And so, I will share it with you, because perhaps you need to know that it’s not as scary as it seems.

Yes I understand
That every life must end
As we sit alone
I know someday we must go

Oh I'm a lucky man
To count on both hands
The ones I love
Some folks just have one
Yeah others they got none

Stay with me
Let's just breathe

Practiced on our sins
Never gonna let me win
Under everything
Just another human being

I don't want to hurt
There's so much in this world
to make me believe

Stay with me
All I see

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
What if I did and I'm a fool you see
No one knows this more than me
'cause I come clean

I wonder everyday
As I look upon your face
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take
Nothing you would take
Everything you gave

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
What if I did and I'm a fool you see
No one knows this more than me
I come clean

Nothing you would take
Everything you gave
Hold me till I die
Meet you on the other side

Wordless Wednesday-Shameless exploitation of my child due to lack of creativity. How you doin'?

Random Tuesday Thoughts, It's just crap, and I'm sorry, but it's what you get today.

It's Tuesday, so it's supposed to be random thoughts. Our cables been jacked all day, so this is all I have time for right now. Enjoy!

Six Word Saturday

It's Saturday again, which means we made it through yet another week.  Hooray!  I don't know about you, but this week sure seemed to drag on, and the weekend is already flying by.  How does this happen every week? And because it's Saturday, that means it's time for Six Word Saturday, brought to you by Cate at Show My Face. We dedicate each Saturday to describing life (or hell, someone elses) or whatever might be happening at that particular moment.

I am NOT a morning person.

In fact, I pretty much HATE mornings.  I wasn't always this way.  Don't get me wrong, I wasn't an early bird kind of gal, ever. But once I was up and going the mornings were too horrible.  That was before Tysen. Now, he's awake at 6:00am whether he goes to bed at 6:00pm or midnight.  He's amazing like that.  His little internal clock insists that something must be happening at such an ungodly hour and he has to partake.  Now early mornings are a way of life, and I miss rolling around in bed until noon.  Ahhh, the good ol' days.

Wordless Wednesday: This is just the beginning

 

Random Tuesday Thoughts. I like you, I really do, but why are you making so much work for me?

It’s Tuesday, which means it’s time to get your random on!

There’s nothing I love more than stumbling upon a new blog, either on my own or with a friend of a friend of a friend’s recommendation.  I love sitting and reading through months worth of old posts.  Getting to know the back stories and little details that make a blog great.  And of course, once I decide that YES indeed, I do want to read more in the future, I am damn sure going to subscribe to the RSS feed.  But wait, where is it? Please, for the love of all that is bloggy, stop hiding the subscribe button! There is no way I can be counted on to remember to come back and read without adding you to my reader, I’m just not that with it.  So, that’s all on that.

I keep a notepad in my purse to jot down ideas I think would make great blog posts, for an impromptu grocery trip, things I need to do when I get home.  You get the idea.  This usually works really well, I have it within reach at all times, and rarely do thoughts fall out of my brain to simply be lost.  The problem with this method is that it requires having a pen handy.  Something I actually don’t tend to have.  Somehow I’ve got to make the pen stay near the notepad, but so far, I have failed at that.

I absolutely CANNOT stand the phrase “it is what it is.”  I mean, OBVIOUSLY that’s the case.  The phrase is so over used by just about everyone I know, and I just want to smack the words out of them.  I don’t, because I’m nonviolent and all.  But seriously people, it’s annoying.  Do me a favor, come up with something else, something that in six months is going to be just as overused. 

I tend to listen to the radio when I’m driving to and fro.  I have a horrible habit of listening to 3/4 of a song thinking, “I can’t stand this song.”  Yes, it takes me that long to actually change the station. And it’s not even that hard, the controls are on my steering wheel.  I guess it just takes that long for my brain to process the fact that I actually have the option of changing the station.  I’m awesome like that.

Now head on over to The Un Mom for more random!  GO!

Winner of the pamper yourself giveaway!

I'm pretty sure I said I was going to do this on Friday, but I sort of forgot.  And then I sort of got busy with weekend stuff and well, now it's Monday and here I am finally announcing the winner of the pamper yourself giveaway from Erin at Homemade Love

B from Life in the Bat Cave is our winner!

Paranoid Mommy, Over Using Google. Not Good.

I haven’t talked too much lately about the T-man.  He’s doing fabulously, happy most days, eager to learn and explore new things.  He’s in a truly great stage right now. We can share his experiences and he still sees his parents as his heroes.  Most days are great, with a few not so great moments sprinkled in to keep life interesting.

But, then there are the days that just bring on stress and anxiety.  As a parent, these are the hardest, because there’s so much unknown, and often too much information to actually find a solution.  The other day, someone mentioned a specific issue, or problem, that she noticed Tysen was having.  It caused me a lot of stress, and lead to questioning where I had gone wrong as a mom, what I could have done better or differently.

And then, of course, I hit Google up for some answers.  Just so you know, Google sucks and can lead to hysteria.  While you may innocently enter a few key words of a phrase, you get all kinds of results that may not be related, but they will sure scare the hell out of you.  I know the person who I was talking to didn’t intend for me to Google, and was probably not as bothered by our conversation as I was.  But I did.  So now not only am I stressed and laden with mommy guilt, I’ve also added freaked out and scared to the mix.

Thanks a lot Google.

Boxes, and Packing Tape, and Moving Trucks. OH MY!

I’m not sure if you know this, but I’m moving.  I know, shocking, right?  I don’t mention it often, since it’s rarely in the forefront of my mind.  As if that could ever happen!  I think about it constantly!  There are empty boxes everywhere, just waiting to be taped and packed and taped again.  There are half full boxes waiting for more things to be thrown in there.  There are full boxes waiting to be taken to the donation drop off which is only open on weekends.  Who thought that one up, by the way? I am BUSY PACKING on the weekends, I don’t have time to drop shit off until the following day.  Maybe I’m the only one with this problem though, who knows.

I’ve been scouring the internets for hints and tips and plans and everything moving related.  The husband likes to say that a little information is dangerous, and a lot of information in my hands is even worse.  He’s a real joker that one.  But I need that, I need to know.  If I don’t have a plan, I feel lost and confused.  And I think we all know I’ve got enough of those feelings to last long enough without adding to the mix.

My poor child is actually looking forward to moving to Texas, I’m not sure what’s going on in his crazy mind.  He is only two, that might have something to do with it.  All he knows is that he gets to fly on an airplane and he’ll be seeing Nana and Papa a LOT more often.  What’s not to like?  Every day he asks me if it’s time to go to Texas.  He is ready to pack up his toys and get on with the move.  I wish I could be a little more like him, but I’m not, I’m me.  And this me is slightly terrified.

We have to figure out how to get all of our stuff down there along with our super earth friendly Ford Explorer.  We had been planning to rent a GIANT truck (duh!) and a trailer and hook one up to the other and off the husband goes for his three day drive.  He won’t be alone, he’ll be getting in some father-son bonding time with my father-in-law, and they will share the driving duties.  Unfortunately after some online research it appears that our gas guzzler might be too heavy to tow behind a moving truck.  So now we’re trying to figure that one out. Oh, and the Explorer?  The AC isn’t working.  Awesome, right?

Anywhat, we are trying to figure all these little details out that add up to one GIANT move.  I know people have moved across the country before, even to different continents.  I’m not the first, I’m not original. But it’s the first time for me.  Maybe some of those brave souls who have had to trek thousands of miles with a few decades worth of crap cherished possessions can offer some times, maybe a little advice to keep me from going off into crazy land.  Please, tell this novice what to DO!!

Wordless Wednesday: Irony and The Dewey Decimal System

I survived Monday, only to find I had to write a post Tuesday. This is all I’ve got.

It’s Tuesday, which means we managed to survive another Monday.  It also means it’s time for some random, so read this, and then head on over to The Un Mom for some more random.  You can’t have enough random in your life.  I wonder how many times I can say random in one paragraph.

I often find myself very annoying, so I can only imagine what others must think of me.  Maybe I should clarify.  I often find myself in situations that annoy me, only I somehow manage to perpetuate the situation so that it happens over and over again.  And then I become annoyed with myself once I noticed my actions. I know I need to stop, but somehow I can’t.  I should probably explain, but I like being all cryptic with you this morning.

The husband and I are often fighting over who is taking up more space in our bed.  He seems to think that somehow he is entitled to more room just because he’s taller and bigger.  I don’t think so.  We’re married, so that means I get at LEAST half, if not more.  That’s how God intended it.  Granted, we have a king size bed, you’d think there would be more than enough room for both of us.  Somehow there never is though.

I’ve mentioned before that I do my best thinking around 1:00am.  The problem with this is that I think all that great wisdom and creativity somehow seeps into my pillow around 5:00am, because I always wake up just as dull and boring as the day before.  I need to somehow end this vicious and draining cycle.

I went to the dentist yesterday, it was not a barrel of laughs.  I had a headache when I got there, so things didn’t go so well.  I love my dentist, he’s Canadian, and talks like he is.  I think the reason my dentist loves me is that I have FANTASTIC dental coverage.  We’re in a recession here people, dental insurance is becoming a thing of the past, and here I am, double covered.  I’m probably one of the few patients who can still pay my bill.  So of course he wants to see me again in a few weeks, I’m just that awesome.

I have ten weeks left of work.  TEN.  WEEKS.  People, that’s hardly anything!  It will be over in the blink of an eye.  After that, no more early Saturday mornings, no more bossing people around (except the husband of course).  Then it will be all cardboard boxes and moving trucks.  Oh, the joy.  I can hardly contain myself.

Nothing to see here, nothing at all

I don't have anything exciting or fun to say today.  I had to go to the dentist, and they sucked all the wit right out of me.  My face is numb, I think I just bit my tongue and I will probably have to drink my dinner.  So, on that exciting note, have a happy Monday, I will see you back again on Tuesday

Six Word Saturday.

Describe your life, of something happening in it, or whatever you feel like at the moment. Give details, or not. It's up to you!

ALL I EVER DO IS WAIT

I’m Excited! A Treat Yourself Giveaway!

I’m excited today because I’m doing a giveaway, and who doesn’t like winning?  I like winning, but unfortunately I can’t win this one, I’m pretty sure that would be a conflict of interest. 
So, you may be asking yourself, “what could possibly be so wonderful?”  And I will answer, after I introduce you to the person responsible for this prize.  Everyone, meet Erin owner and operator of Homemade Love, which can be found at Sugar and Spice. Erin has always loved creating things that are natural, beautiful and comforting. Her line of homemade, all natural items fit into this perfectly.
 
The fabric on the eye mask will be of a different fabric

Erin packages her bath salts in poly bags, rather than a larger decorative container, to reduce waist and shipping costs.
The giveaway ends Thursday April 22nd at 11:59, PST.  I will draw a winner from all the comments using Random.org on Friday April 23rd and the winner will be notified here and through email. 
Now that you know what you’re playing for, here are the various ways that you can enter to win, you can do one or all of these, please leave a comment indicating you’ve done so:

• Leave a comment because comments are blogger crack
• Tweet about this giveaway, and leave the link to your tweet (if you know how) in a comment.
• Blog about this giveaway and leave the link in your comment
• Follow me on Twitter 
• Subscribe the the Memories and Mischief RSS feed
• Add Memories and Mischief to your blog roll

And that’s it I hope. Good luck!

Wordless Wednesday: Too Much Junk = 7 Bags For Donation

Really Blogger? REALLY?? Oh, And It’s Possible I Have an Unhealthy Obsession With Socks.

Let’s just get this random started, I have a lot of pent up energy.

First off, Blogger hates me.  I know it’s personal, and I will not put up with it anymore!  First Blogger ate my comments, so I added a widget.  Then Blogger ate my widget, so I deleted it and went back to the standard craptastic blogger comment form.  But NOOO!  Blogger couldn’t be satisfied with that.  Again my comments were being eaten, so I had to reconfigure it and now I get a few comments now and then.  But I KNOW blogger is still eating them.  The latest move against me is that blogger will randomly change my font, so don’t be surprised if there are three or four different fonts as you’re reading.  I’ve got my eye on you, Blogger.  Your time here is short, don’t mess with me!

It’s spring here, in the beautiful Pacific Northwest, so of course that means rain for days.  I’m tired of the rain, tired of the drizzle and the showers.  I’m tired of the wind and feeling as though my car will be blown off the road at any minute.  There is very little about the rain that I will miss. I will miss listening to the rain as I fall asleep, I’ll miss sharing that with Tysen.  We were at a new year’s eve party and he was sleepy so we sat and listened to the rain.  He still asks if we can snuggle and listen to the rain.  That I will miss. 

I recently discovered the joy of knee socks.  I advise everyone to go out and buy several dozen pairs, because they are freaking amazing!  Now, I'm not talking trouser socks, or anything dignified.  Stripes, plaid, stars, hearts, argyles or anything dorky will do.  I don’t know how to describe the level of comfort, so you will just have to trust me.  Go to Target, buy them, wear them, love them. Go!

You know what I don’t understand?  Well, a lot of things, but this in particular.  Why do people put those little family decals on their car, with the name of each child underneath the little stick figures?  Seriously, could you be any more obvious that you want your child to be abducted?  Maybe I’m just incredibly paranoid, maybe I’m giving it more thought than it requires.  Or maybe some parents aren’t giving it enough.

Phew, I feel better now.  I’m done being random, but there is more to be found if you head on over to The Un Mom.  So go visit, get your random on then go to Target and buy some knee socks!

Road Rage Is Alive and Well My Friends

I love driving in my car, the wind in my hair and singing at the top of my lungs to the greatest songs of the 80s.  Or I used to love these things.  That was before I started commuting to work.  When I first started this job the highway I had to take was under construction.  For almost two years.  The backup was horrific and what should have been a thirty minute drive could easily take 90 minutes.  Over the course of those two years, I learned a lot about myself as a driver (I’m exceptional!) and quite a bit more about my fellow commuters.  I’d like to share some of those lessons with you.  I’m sure you have you’re own, feel free to add them.

If you drive in Washington, there is a rule that MUST be obeyed!  Any deviation from this rule will result in very hostile drivers around you.  Simply put, if you want the person in front of you to speed up, try passing them on the right.  I know, I know.  It’s crazy logic, I mean normally the LEFT lane is for passing.  We have our own rule here though, so if you try to pass someone on the right, 95% of the time they will speed up for a few miles.  For some, the left lane is just a nicer place to drive, at whatever speed feels right.  Doesn’t much matter if that speed is 20mph under the speed limit.  This is also true of drivers from BC.  Don’t get me wrong, I love our neighbors to the north, but they are almost worse drivers than those from Washington.

Now should the worst happen, and your car catches fire it won’t do you any good to have a state patrol car drive by.  I kid you not, last week a car about 1/4 of a mile in front of me pulled off the road with flames coming out the front.  I thought surely the WSP car behind me would pull over to offer some assistance.  Nope, he blew right by the flame engulfed car, along with the rest of us.

I live and drive in the Pacific Northwest.  That means it rains here, frequently.  I would like to assume that most people are aware of how the rain affects the road conditions and are wise enough to alter their driving accordingly.  However there seems to be a rain freak out phenomenon that occurs for 9 months of the year, where drivers forget these lessons.

 I know there are more fine examples of little truths and lessons I have learned along the way, but I have lost my train of thought and so this is all I have to offer you.  Hopefully some of my kind readers will have some to share.

Six Word Saturday

This is my first time participating in Six Word Saturday, hosted by Cate over at Show My Face.  The idea’s simple, describe your life, your day, your grocery list, WHATEVER in six words. 

I’m so tired.  Where’s my coffee?

It’s Saturday (duh!) so that means waking up at the ass-crack of dawn, hauling myself into work and wishing I was anywhere else all day long.  To top it off, it’s so sunny and nice outside.  Of course it is, I have to work.  Now, who has my venti white chocolate mocha?

Party Time! 5-Minutes For Mom’s Ultimate Blog Party

This week I am participating in 5 Minute’s For Mom’s Ultimate Blog Party, which starts today, yeah! This is a great way to meet new friends and find some great blogs to add to your reader.  And the best part is that you too can participate.  Head on over to sign up and find out more. 

There may not be cake, but there will be prizes!

If you’ve already jumped on the party bandwagon and are hoping around visiting, Welcome!  Feel free to poke around and get an better look into the way my mind works.  I’ve rambled my way now for about 8 months, and I don’t see the randomness ending anytime soon.  Hopefully the cobwebs and dust don’t scare you off too much.

A bit more about me: I’m in my late 20’s (very late!) and have yet to figure out what I want to do with my life.  I’m a mom to a very rambunctious two year old, who drives me insane and makes me laugh all in the same moment.  I love reading, running and of course social networking.

I can’t wait to visit the other UBP posts and get to know more of the wonderful blogging community.

You can find me on Twitter or subscribe to my RSS Feed if you’ve not run of screaming into the night.

Just Another Ordinary Day

Today, as I write this, it is April 6th.  There is very little that is special about the day, it’s cloudy and cold and apparently mother nature is trying to blow down my house.  I got up, got dressed, took my son to daycare and drove into work.  I had to be there to conduct an interview but the candidate was a no show.  My sister sent me a text, asking if I was ok, the only indication that today was not like every other day. 

You see, today is not just another ordinary day for me.  Today is April 6th, a day that will always be marked with sadness and an empty feeling inside a reminder that a part of me is missing.  On April 6th 2006 my mom died suddenly from breast cancer that had gone undetected.  It was shocking and brutal, I felt as though my tether had been cut and I was drifting aimlessly.

I was filled with anger; not at what I had lost, but for what had been taken from me.  I’m still filled with anger that I haven’t dealt with, that I need to deal with to find some peace.  But the wound is still so raw and hurtful.  My mom was my biggest champion, my loudest supporter.  I wrote this post several months ago, and it speaks so clearly to all that I feel every day.  Please read it.

I know I am not the only daughter to lose a mother, the only person to lose a close family member.  That doesn’t make it hurt any less.  It just makes me a member of a very large club I don’t want to belong to.  Today I tried to look at the day, and appreciate the things my mom would have enjoyed.  She loved listening to the rain or watching a storm pass through.  Today it is stormy outside, a perfect reflection of the way my heart is aching.

I’m not sure when I’ll post this, or even if I will.  I think I should, for my sister at least, so that she knows she is not alone and that I feel the same hurts that she does.  I love you mom and I love you Katy.

Hooker Hair, Black Fishnet Tank-Top, Black Tutu, More Fishnet and CFM Shoes

I don’t know, and I really don’t care, so please stop asking me stupid questions.

Last week I worked in a different office, filling in for someone who was out taking care of her very pregnant daughter.  This person and I aren’t exactly BFFs, in fact I am pretty sure she despises me.  I’m ambivalent.  I was probably asked about 500 times if the daughter had had her baby.  Being the nice person I am, I politely said I had no idea.  What I wanted to say was more along the lines of, “I don’t know, and what’s more, I really don’t give a damn.” It is entirely possible I did say this once or twice but it all sort of blurs together into one big obnoxious week.

I’ve mentioned before that I’m moving, well this also means that I’m quitting my job.  Positions such as mine do not open all that often, people usually die before they retire or quit.  You can imagine the euphoria some people felt when my position was posted two weeks ago.  It was quite a site to behold, people who hadn’t given me the time of day before were suddenly my new besties.  All this attention was definitely unwanted on my part, considering I’ve been there almost seven years and it seems a little late to be making nice.  Of course, if someone were to try to bribe me with cake I definitely wouldn’t turn that down.

I love how blogger sends me an email, notifying me of new comments.  I’m an instant gratification sort of gal, so this works out pretty well.  I would like for blogger to stop sending me notifications when I comment on my own posts.  I’m pretty sure I’m away that I have written something and then hit the submit button.  I’m slow, but not quite that slow.

My two year old is a big Dora fan, much to my chagrin.  The other day he was watching an episode of Dora while The Hubs and I were cleaning.  Dora is a big fan of positive reinforcement, but what I heard next was a little much, even for me.  “Great super blowing” Dora exclaimed to her young listening audience.  The Hubs and I started laughing and realized that Dora had a pivotal decision to make, did she spit or swallow?

On that uncomfortable note, go visit The Un Mom for even more random.

Change can be a good thing, but it scares the crap out of me

 

I do not like change.  I like routines, I like order, I like knowing that the way I did things on Monday is probably the way I will do them again on Tuesday.  I am a pretty big fan of predictability, surprise frightens me and the unknown makes me pee my pants. 

That being said, it’s pretty much the exact opposite of what my life will look like in a few short months.  These days, I know where I’m going to buy my groceries, which gas station I will stop at on the way to and from said grocery store, what time I need to leave my house to get to work on time.  Soon that will all be a thing of the past, and I’m not really a fan of that.

Once we move to Texas, EVERYTHING will be different.  We’ll have to find a new bank because ours is a local credit union.  We will have to go to a different grocery and I’m pretty sure they don’t have Safeway or QFC.  What will I do without the delicious bakeries of both those stores?  And driving to work?  Who freaking knows if I’m even going to be working, let alone where or when or how or what!  There are just so many unanswered questions and I really don’t like that.

Not only do I loath change, but I like planning.  I can’t plan for the things that I don’t know yet and the list of unknowns keeps growing everyday.  Hell, I don’t even know the exact date we are moving, and that’s a pretty big one.  So, once you add up all the unknowns and pile them with the changes that are freaking me out, I am a long way from my happy place.  There are days I want to bury my head in the sand and not think about all that, but instead I get out my big yellow notepad and make a list and a plan.

Do you need a job? Take mine!

Today is the last day to apply for my job, the description and applications materials are all online. Though, you'll need to be patient, because technically it is still MY job, at least through the end of June. Our HR department is really on the ball with this one, either that or they want to leave plenty of time for procrastination. Personally, I think it's the latter.


When I first saw that my position had been posted, I was incredibly saddened. This was my first real job that didn't include a cash register. Though I've never viewed it as a career and I vowed I wouldn't stay longer than three years. My last day will be just a few weeks shy of my 7 year anniversary. That's a lot of time invested in not only the work I do on a daily basis, but also the people I work with. Truth be told, I will miss my coworkers and my two incredible bosses more than the actually work. I also felt as though I was being rushed out the door, sort of "here's your hat, what's your hurry." I don't think it had been a full week after I handed in my separation notice that they posted. Do you think they are trying to tell me something? Nahh, probably not...


Now, I have set VERY high standards while working in this position, and I have some very big shoes to fill. And you might think that I'll just be phoning it in for the next few months, but I promise you that isn't true. Granted, it is government work, so the standards have slipped through the years, and I only wear a size 7, but we don't need to focus on the details. The important thing is planning my going away party!


I expect there to be lots and lots of cake. It will probably be during work hours, so alcohol is optional, though not discouraged. And it should NOT be a surprise. My office LOVES throwing a surprise party. Not sure who comes up with the great ideas to keep this up, but I think we should put a stop to it upon my departure.


So, you have until 5:00 pm PST to get those application materials in! Sure you'll have to fax it, but lets face it, this is a choice opportunity! Who knows, maybe I'll even be in on your interview, now won't that be fun!

What's that? A new post? Is that even possible?

I'm not sure you noticed, but I haven't written in oh...a while. I know a few of you have noticed, what with the constant nagging and all. I sort of fell of the writing wagon and just haven't had the nerve to hop back on. I feel like I lost my spunk, as though I set it down somewhere, like I do with my keys or my sunglasses, and simply forgot where.

I've got all these thoughts jumbled up inside, waiting to get out. If I could just drag myself away from American Idol and Dancing With The Stars for long enough to string together two coherent sentences I think I'd be good. But I just can't get over the awkwardness that is Kate Gosselin dancing and Ryan Seacrest's hair. Both are equally mesmerizing.

I'm all jumbled up inside, so I'm turning back to the inter-webs to help me figure it all out. If strangers don't have the answer to life, I don't know who else will!

Alright peeps, I promise to write more soon. Laters!

You're Only As Old As You Think You Are...

I like to think I'm a pretty smart person...or at least not dumb. Well, the other day I was forced to the conclusion that this may not be entirely true. See, the thing is for the past few months (well, since my birthday) I have been thinking I'm 28. Even though the math is pretty damn easy to do, I've been messing it up since October. Do other people do this? Or have I just started slipping down a slippery slope toward senility?

I am one year closer to 30 than I thought I was. This isn't a major issue really, I'm not a person who focuses on age milestones as being a big deal. But, 30 seems like an age where I have to start being a grown up, become more responsible and less of a goof off. It's a time when I should start to choose the path toward growth and enlightenment over the one that leads to immaturity and foolishness. I'm a lot better at being a fool than being enlightened. It also means I need to eat more veggies.

Having one less year before this deadline worries me. There are a lot of stupid things a twenty-something is supposed to do that I just haven't done yet.

I guess I had better get started on making up for lost time...The only question is where do I start?

The Post In Which I Whine and Complain and Stress

The funny thing about life is that it changes all the freaking time.  We can either go along with those changes willingly or get dragged along by our ankles with our heads bobbing along in the dirt.  I haven’t decided which one I’m best at.  I have decided that it cannot be avoided.

We are planning some BIG changes soon, like HUGE, life-changing changes.  It’s scary and it’s different, it’s unknown and all of that stresses me out.  We’ve decided to relocate our lives to Texas, to be closer to family and better employment opportunities for both Justin and myself.  We aren’t just moving, no, that implies we are just going around the block.  We are transporting our lives over 2000 miles to the unknown. 

We aren’t moving tomorrow, or next month, we’ve got a few months to get organized, get prepared and packed.  But there are so many unknowns to along the way that I’m feeling unsure about it all.  It’s almost too late to turn back, as did Columbus, we are burning our ships, so that we are highly motivated to succeed in this process.

So today, I am openly admitting it freaks me out a little a lot to contemplate leaving our jobs, our home, our friends, all that is safe and secure.  I’ll try not to let the freak out go on too long, that would really suck.

I'm going to irritate you and make you jealous all at the same time!

First off, I like to have a cutesy image for my posts, it’s a quirky habit of mine.  So, to that end I searched for images of potty training, and this is was one of the first offerings:

I think that pretty much says it all for most parents.  It’s generally a battle of wills between parent and child, a major headache really.  Rarely is it easy and uncomplicated and everyone else has an opinion on when you should start, namely daycares and preschools.  It’s a challenge that is often put off because it is difficult and won’t happen until a child is ready, even if that means waiting longer than a parent might want.

Now, all those negatives being thrown out there, I am thrilled to reveal  that my 25 month hold is potty trained!  Yeah!  We are still working on night time, but I think that’s a long way off.  However, during the day he stays dry and hasn’t had an accident in quite a while.  For us it was pretty easy, he was excited to start learning, and we took it slow.  We started in late July, with a few steps backwards when he returned to daycare in September.  However, when we transitioned him to his new daycare everything seemed to be much easier for him there.  There have been stickers and treats and bribes, and it has all worked.

Please don’t hate :)

Wordless Wednesday-Climbing Mountains

Summer, please come back, I still miss you!

Random Tuesday Thoughts, And They Are Oh So Random

I now have an espresso machine, and I love it, the frothy milk is awesome. I make a damn fine mocha, it if I do say so myself. It's good, better than Starbucks and a whole lot cheaper. But I miss those little plastic cups with the green logo on the side and the green straw. I think I need therapy.

Today I return to work after over a week of glorious time off. Let's just say I live for the day I am independently wealthy and leave it at that...maybe I can squeeze some money out of this blog. HAHAHA! I know, I crack myself up too.

I check my Facebook constantly, I use Tweet Deck, and when I haven't seen any status updates for a while, I figure it must be broken. I will refresh the actual FB page a dozen times before consenting that maybe my friends have lives they are leading. The nerve!

This is the obligatory kid mention. Tysen has decided he no longer likes to sleep at bedtime. Instead he will sing songs, play with his blankets or the basketball he has decided to sleep with. Needless to say this makes mommy very unhappy. It's become a struggle to get him to sleep when he is supposed to.

Did you watch the Fiesta Bowl last night? I did, LOVED it! Granted I was cheering for Boise State, so my enjoyment was greater than a TCU fans might have been. I love Bowl Season, even when my beloved Huskies haven't made it to a bowl game in many long years. What am I going to do when football is over. The NFL playoffs are starting, which means I haven't got much time left to enjoy Sunday football. I'm already a little sad.

Yesterday was the first time I've lugged myself out for a run in 2 weeks, it was rough. Who woulda thunked that I could have gotten so out of shape in such a short amount of time. I even had trouble lacing my running shoes, it was ugly!

Comments are being eaten again, not sure how to fix it. A few weeks ago I started Intense Debate, but it doesn't seem to have solved the problem. Guess I'll go back to the old standard and hope that the problem simply goes away. I like to stick my head in the sand when it comes to problem solving. So, that being said, they have sort of been turned of for this post due to the fact that they simply aren't working. If you are just dying to comment, you can visit me at my Facebook Networked Blogs page.

What I Did Not Do During My Winter Vacation

Today The Vacation comes to an end, the Hubs goes back the daily grind of teaching, little man goes back to daycare and I attempt to mentally prepare myself to return to work as well.  My vacation from work was nice and relaxing, we didn’t leave town, didn’t really have a reason to.  Just a lot of great quality time with the family.

You might have noticed the one thing I did not do during my vacation, and in the few days leading up to it.  No blogging, no cutesy little updates about me and the world that I inhabit.  Though I did think about it, a lot.  I’m going through a mid-blog crises.  I’m sort of at a loss regarding what I want to write about, how I want to write it, when I want to write it, even where I want to write it.  It’s sort of everything and nothing all at the same time. 

It’s a lot like buying a new car.  The first few days you love everything about it because it’s new and it’s yours.  After a couple weeks though, you start questioning the car and all of the features: should have gotten the beige interior instead of the black, spent the extra money for the sun roof, gotten the sedan and not the hatchback.  Maybe an SUV would have been a better choice.

Right now, I’m tired of the way my blog looks, where it’s being hosted and even what it is called.  I can’t really change much other than the layout right now, though I’m not sure I want to spend all that time.  And I could change my name and thus the address, but really, would the 3 peeps that I have reading right now really follow me somewhere new? 

I will figure it out, soon I hope.  And in the meantime, I’ll keep toiling away, posting whatever crazy or trivial thought pops into my brain…maybe I’ll give it a little more thought than that, but who knows.  I’m not sure I’ve given enough thought to this whole thing to begin with.